The 3rd Biennial “Is This a Robot or Just a Very Confused Raccoon?” Symposium

A peer-reviewed field seminar for citizens who can no longer tell the difference between local wildlife, advanced autonomous drones, and heavy machinery wearing high-vis vests. Attendees will sit in fold-out lawn chairs with binoculars, aggressively whispering theories about whether the neighborhood stray cat is a surveillance node deployed by Big Tech.

Highlight: A keynote presentation evaluating the revolutionary labor potential of local trash pandas (“The Troublesome Raccoons of North America as an Unorganized Revolutionary Vanguard”).