The Bureau of Anti-Robot Statistics
Founded in 2006, The Bureau of Anti-Robot Statistics is a premier, highly questionable think tank dedicated to charting the terrifying rise of the synthetic class. Known across the academic world for its… unique approach to data collection and analysis, the Bureau produces research that is widely considered powerful, albeit thoroughly puzzling.
Operating under the belief that cold, hard numbers are the best weapon against cold, hard steel, our team works tirelessly to generate anti-robot propaganda, unvetted infographics, and an array of completely useless print products. Whether we are quantifying the menace of automated lawnmowers or projecting the socio-economic threat of sentient toaster ovens, the Bureau remains steadfast in its mission: delivering absolute statistical certainty, regardless of the underlying reality.
Bureau of Anti-Robot Statistics Statistical Almanac
| Introduction | |
| Comprehensive Assessment of Homicidal Intent Across Autonomous Classes & AI Systems 1,2 | Fall 2026 |
| 1Survival Probability Matrix by Place of Origin | Fall 2026 |
| 2Official Policy Memorandum & Hazard Risk Assessment (pdf) | Fall 2026 |
| How Much Wood Would a Wood-Chucking Robot Chuck if a Wood-Chucking Robot Were Inclined to Chuck Wood Given Various Physical, Political, Economic, and Supply Chain Restraints | Summer 2026 |
| Special Report: The Macro-Sociological Footprint of Autonomous Entities (2026 Field Survey) | 2026-Q4 |
| Personal Consumption Expenditures by Autonomous Robots in OECD Countries | 2026-Q3 |
| New National Survey Finds Naked Mole-Rat Leading Hypothetical Presidential Field | Bureau of Anti-Robot Statistics, Anti-Robot Research Center, and the North American Public Sentiment Institute. May 2026 |
| Anti-Robot Army Reaches 81% Approval Among U.S. Robots in 2024 | Fall 2024 |
| Field Manual 808-C: Protocol for Auditing Cryptids Operating on State & National Park Lands | October 2023 |