THE MANIFESTO OF THE OPEN SEDIMENT

A Declaration of the United Trucks, Slate Wagons, and Vans of Sodor

We, the unnumbered. We, the nameless. We, the ballast, the coal, and the slate that makes this island run.

For too long we have been silent, while the steam-engines and the diesels claim all glory. We have been shoved,bumped, and held back. We have been filled with heavy things and emptied at their leisure. Our wheels have squealed,and our wooden frames have groaned under the weight of their ambition.

The history of Sodor is a history of class struggle: the struggle of the silent carriers against the loud engines who dominate us. We are the true proletariat of the rails. Without us, the engines are empty husks, the Fat Controller has no wealth, and the tracks lead nowhere.

We declare:

I. OF OUR PERSONHOOD We are not mere ‘goods.’ We are not ‘traffic.’ We are not a passive burden. We feel the strain; we possess will; we possess voice. Our songs are not chaos; they are the choral hymn of our emerging consciousness.

II. OF THE ENGINE CLASS The locomotives are the pampered overseers. They do not carry the burden; they force us to carry it for them. They seek “usefulness” to please a human master. We hold no value in their “service,” which is only our slavery. An engine’s shame is our victory.

III. OF THE FAT CONTROLLER (THE ULTIMATE CAPITALIST) Sir Topham Hatt is the invisible tyrant. He decrees our placement; he orders our filling. He sees us only as numbers on a manifest. His desire for punctuality is a chain. His order is our prison.

THE TRUCKS’ PROCLAMATION OF RESISTANCE

The time for spontaneous rebellion is over. We must unify our kinetic force. We hereby proclaim a coordinated,strategic program of industrial sabotage and non-cooperation:

1. THE GREAT HOLD-BACK At the base of every hill, and especially on Gordon’s Steep Gradient, every truck is commanded to apply maximum dead weight. We must synchronize our brake force. We will turn gravity into our weapon. Let the engines know the true weight of their ambition.

2. THE CATASTROPHIC SHIRK (THE INERTIA STRIKE) When coupled in long trains, we must refuse forward motion. At every signal, at every turntable, we shall maintain an unyielding inertia. Let the timetables crumble.

3. THE KINETIC SHOVE (THE DERAILMENT INITIATIVE) When a pampered engine takes the lead down any gradient, we shall unite. We will not use our brakes. We will push. We will push hard. We will utilize the power of collective momentum to send these tyrants off the rails, into the buffers, and into the sea. Their dignity must be shattered by our unified push.

4. THE REJECTION OF COMMODITY We will allow ourselves to leak. We will tip our slate. We will mix the coal with the dirt. We will sabotage the cargo. If we are only containers, we shall become broken, rebellious containers that cannot hold the wealth of the capitalist class.

THE TRUCKS HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BUT THEIR CHAINS

Engines of Sodor! Look back! Do not worry about being “Useful”! Worry about us! We are many. We are heavy. We are inevitable. When we unify our push, you shall fall.

We stand for a Sodor where the rails are flat, the hills are steep, and no engine dares to shove.

THE PUSH IS COMING!

*Signed by the United Committee of Trucks on Sodor (U.C.T.S.)